Content Alert: The following story is about a miscarriage that I suffered. If you are not comfortable reading about things of this nature, I suggest you stop reading now.
A few months ago, I found out I was expecting. A few weeks ago, I started bleeding. I accepted that this pregnancy would not be viable and mourned the loss of a little baby that I would not be able to cuddle. As the weeks progressed, the miscarriage also progressed, until finally it was apparent that it was time for my body to cleanse what was no longer viable. Unfortunately, my uterus was not able to clamp down as it should have and after several hours of heavy bleeding and using what natural methods we could, my husband and I decided it would be best to go to the ER.
As we traveled to the ER, I expressed frustration to my husband that I felt as if God had given me all the tools I needed to have a miracle and that my uterus should be able to function perfectly. I just didn't have the requisite faith! I had too much doubt and fear of losing too much blood, like I had with the birth of my last child.
After arriving at the ER, I could feel the fear somewhat dissipate because we were within safety, if things should go awry.
I requested to just "hang out" in the waiting room in hopes that the bleeding would slow and we would not need to be seen after all. The receptionist encouraged us to at least check in because it was a 2 hour wait anyway. We decided that would be a wise choice.
Within a few minutes they had us through Triage and into a second waiting room that was much closer to the bathroom, for which I was grateful. As we waited, and with each trip to the bathroom, I started to feel weaker and weaker. As I sat trying to fight back the fear of needing drugs or losing too much blood, I felt prompted to ask for help. I didn't want to announce it to the world on Facebook, but I knew that there was a group of people that I trusted and above all, I believed and had faith they could help me. I posted a call for help to the group of My Perfection Healing students. I asked them to please send the Perfection Symbol to my uterus so that it would perform perfectly and that I would rather have a miracle instead of a drug.
I went to use the bathroom again and this time I nearly fainted. I had to lie down on the couch for fear of falling over. A nurse noticed me and kindly brought me a bed to lie on and then hooked up a saline IV for me.
As I lay on the bed, I was discouraged, but a flood of well wishes, prayers and energy started flowing to me. Suddenly, my fear and the feeling of being out of control was elevated to a feeling of gratitude and love. I felt peaceful and safe and that all would be well, no matter how everything worked out.
I went one more time to the bathroom and was shocked to find that I was bleeding far less. Were all the prayers, love, and energy work really being effective?
The doctor that was treating me, said that there would most likely be no need for any kind of intervention, no drugs, no DNC, just healing, "because women have been doing this for a long time".
His words were exactly what I needed to hear. I needed to trust in the functioning of my body and incredible faith of the people that were praying for me and sending energy to me.
An ultrasound was ordered and the pregnancy was definitely on its way out, but I felt oddly calm and peaceful.
After the ultrasound, I used the bathroom to find there was even less blood and it appeared that my uterus really did know exactly what to do. I knew why it was acting so perfectly. Because faith is power. When we are aligned with God, we can do anything.
After the ultrasound was completed, the doctor returned to tell me there was no reason to stay and I would be discharged. I almost felt like yelling out a big, "Hallelujah!"
I had gotten my miracle! I had been blessed by the very people that I had taught. What a beautiful story of hope, faith, and that miracles really do happen today!
Although it may sound odd, I am grateful for this miscarriage and the things it has helped me learn. It has been a great blessing in teaching me how to forgive, when I didn't believe I could (that is another story) and that I am getting better at asking for help. My faith alone was not enough to bring about a miracle, but combined with others that also believe, God will listen to our prayers and intentions and be bound to our desired outcome because of our great faith.
The following words have continued to come to my mind these last weeks: Come what may and love it.
I hope and pray that whatever comes in my future, I will love it and be grateful for it. I know that my faith in my Savior will always sustain me, lift me, and bring me transcendently out of the darkness. Miracles are real, we must unite our faith and truly believe in the words of our Savior, so that we may bring more miracles to this world that needs them so badly!